So not cool.
I feel old.
I can't get used to her new hair cut.
Every time I look at her I see this big girl (like maybe seven whole years old).
Where did my baby go?
My first tiny baby?
I remember crying on the delivery table right before I had Ezra. Crying because I knew my love would never be singular for her again. It would always be divided with Ezra.
Of course, looking back, I realize how silly that was. But it wasn't silly at the moment.
I cried today as I watched Ezra line up his cars across the living room. His little world as he knows is about to be over. I know that his little world is about to be (ultimately) better...but I still cried. Still mourned. It is part of the process of life. A new chapter is about to begin...and that means one has to end.
Yes, I will probably look back and think, how silly. But it doesn't feel silly at this moment.
Girl, I completely understand the whole crying thing. I absolutely could not grasp how I could love another child like I had Ilijah. Then came Bella, and she melts my heart just as much. Can't wait to see what I do with my third as well.
ReplyDeleteI think it's good you are feeling each stage, crying for the last stage makes it easier to accept the next
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for your next stage!
love her new haircut!
I love your honesty Jen....and your obvious close walk with the Lord. I love Ella's new do....she is a sweetheart just like her momma....and I love Eli's tender eyes. What gifts you have been given. I will be praying for you as you begin to end your journey to bring your son home!
ReplyDelete