dirty laundry

I had one of those days yesterday.

A day where I just felt swallowed up by motherhood.

A day where the whines and fights and laundry and meals just seem to outnumber the giggles and hugs and i love you's. A day where I was tired and just wanted 5 minutes out of the day to forget the fact that I even have kids. A day where I wanted to pee with the bathroom door shut and eat my chocolate bar out in the open, dag gone it. A day where panic hits me and I think maybe I am not cut out for this whole mothering thing and what the crap was I thinking to be bringing another little person into this world.

It is always hard for me to admit to these days.

One, I know too many people that read this blog and I have a problem with caring too much what people think.

Two, I realize how unappreciative and ungrateful I come across.

Three, I realize how silly it all sounds by the time I am done writing it all out.

And four, I KNOW how blessed I am.

I know this.
I know this.

I know I shouldn't complain about laundry, because I have the luxury of a washing machine and am not washing in a river. I know I shouldn't complain about the never satiated hunger of my children, because I HAVE a pantry full of food I CAN feed them and am not scraping together dirt cookies like my friends in Haiti do in order to still the growling of their babies bellies.

I know these things.

I do. I do. I do.

But. On days like yesterday...knowing and feeling can just be so disconnected.

Thank goodness that days like yesterday usually only last a day. Thank goodness that they are usually followed up with days where the hugs and giggles and i love you's come in abundant waves. Thank goodness that writing it all out always brings a renewed sense of perspective.

And thank goodness that the truth I know always overcomes the lies I let in.