Not Me Monday (mishmash)

While eating at Ihop on Friday I did not get so distracted by the size of my waiters biceps that I put my straw into my coffee instead of my water and then laughed the awkward laugh when I realized what I'd done.

And I was definitely not with Jeremiah when that happened.

And he definitely did not get (slightly) jealous.

I did not teach my kids to go for the "good" candy while trick or treating.

And I most certainly would never just call the day a wash on the nutritional front and allow my kids to eat candy as their dinner.

And I would never ever steal from my kids hard earned stash. After they went to bed.

I did not get a speeding ticket last week. I never speed. Ever.

So, it wouldn't be my second speeding ticket in one year.

Cause, remember, I don't speed.

Or get distracted by other men's biceps.

Nope. Not me.