alive

yep, still alive...

but covered up in boxes and all the good stuff that comes with moving.

if only i could just move like a normal person...and, well...just move.

instead i cram a whole lotta painting, light fixture changing, furniture exchanging, and some other things that end with -ing.

it'll all be worth it. and i am loving our new place.

the older kids come home tomorrow (thanks Nana for keeping them out of my hair so we could get so much accomplished!)...so i have approximately 20 hours to put any finishing touches on any projects i don't want three extra sets of helping hands on!

it'll be a rush to the finish, for sure.

pictures to come...

snapshot: one day till moving day

snapshot: thanksgiving cousin fun

thank(full)

i am thankful that it is almost 2012.

because that means i have survived 2011.

and 2011 was something to survive.

i am thankful that i truly-really-telling-the-truth-100% think my husband just keeps getting better and better and better and better.

i am thankful that my kids are very forgiving.

i am thankful my God is in control.

even when i so desperately want to be.

i am thankful i can wear my skinny jeans again.

with only a little spillage.

i am thankful that i get to spend my days with the cutest baby in the world.

who lets me rock her to sleep every night. (my others weren't too keen on the whole rocking thing)

i am thankful to be a part of a church where Jesus is lifted high.

and lives are being changed.

but mostly i am thankful that Jesus has changed my life.

i don't ever (EVER) want to get over it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

swifty fly the years: ella mckay turns 6

I've heard it said that the first five years stay with you forever...

Gulp.

I'm gulping because we have made it passed that almighty five year mark and officially have a six year old.

Ella was our planned Christmas present that surprised us on Thanksgiving way back in 2005.

A delicious 6 pound surprise of squish and sweetness.

She showed us early on that she knows exactly what she likes,

who she likes,

and when she likes it.

Period.

Filled with first born bossiness.

Tomboy and diva.

Competitive.

Creative.

Tree climber extraordinaire and protector of wee little creatures.

Determined.

Impish.

With some cheese dip on the side please.

Ella McKay,

You are my beloved first born who made me a mommy and took my breath away from the instant you were laid on my tummy. I will never get over that moment. It is a privilege to be yours. I am so proud of the little girl you are and the glimpses of the young lady I see emerging. Even at your young age it is evident that you are seeking after the Lord and it thrills and humbles me.

You are loved wildly and deeply and dearly.

to the moon and back,

Momma

p.s. You can stop growing up now.

p.p.s. I will never forget the way you fell apart at the mexican restaurant last night when all the bandito's came out to sing you happy birthday. Oh, the trauma. Trauma drama. I'm sorry I laughed at you.

Not Me Monday

I did not teach my child to play UNO only to have her completely beat the pants off of me (and pretty much everyone else...) with her devilish scheming.

She is hard as a rock, people.

And shows no mercy.

Consuming innocent victims.

And laughing while she devours.

Hmm, that might be a bit much...

She is quite good though.

Consider yourself warned.

snapshot: partial reunion

my heart will remain heavy until there is a TOTAL reunion for this family.

continue to pray.

and if you want to do more:

email KampalaVisa@state.gov

regarding case #KMP2011654002 and respectfully ask them to reevaluate their case.

snapshot: gramma's puppies from florida are wussies when it comes to cold weather

an update and this is when the whirlwind begins

**Update on prayer request** Homeland security did not step in and allow an override in obtaining Shabila's visa. Her case will now (weirdly enough) go to Kenya. Tasha is getting on a plane today to come home with only two of her kids, leaving Josh to stay with Shabila until they have further direction. I talked with Tasha yesterday, and their strength continues to amaze me. They are resting in the faithfulness of their BIG God.

Continue to pray.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Our life for the next few weeks is going to be C.r.a.Z.y.

Here and there and everywhere with company coming in, Thanksgiving travels, a trip to Green Bay Wisconsin to see the Green Bay packers play at Lambau field, and a tiny little thing called a MOVE thrown in for fun.

I am so excited to be moved and settled and finally out of this lovely transitional stage.

We had our walk-thru at our new house this week and everything looks good. Things here are about 95% packed up...leaving just enough stuff to cook with and wipe our bottoms with.

I am seriously considering not un-packing the kids toys at the new house and just letting them continue to play with the boxes. Why do I even bother with toys? The possibilities with empty cardboard boxes are endless...

My blogging over the next little bit might be a bit sporadic...but keep checking in because you never know when something awesome like a bearded man with an ax and a baby just might show up.

thursday thoughts: PRAYER REQUEST

My heart is heavy as I write this out.

I have written on numerous occasions about my friends Josh and Tasha who are currently in Uganda completing the adoption of sweet little Shabila.

After 2 months spent in country they went for their exit interview at the embassy in Kampala, Uganda yesterday...with plans to get on the plane and come home THIS weekend. The supposed last step in the process. However, things did not go as planned...and the embassy has denied Shabila's visa. There are a lot of details involved in this case, of which, I don't feel is necessary (or prudent) to go into.

However, it is necessary and prudent to pray.

I am asking for you to pray.

The effective fervent prayers of a righteous man avails much. - James 5:16

Pray for a miracle.

They need a miracle.

Little Shabila needs a miracle.

We know our God is big.

And that he will sustain them.

Surely God is our help; He is the one who sustains me. - Psalm 54:4

I'll update as we get new information.

so wrong (and so right)

Overheard unsolicited prayer between Eli and Ezra:

Ezra: Dear Jesus, help us to get lots of candy when we trick or treat again.

Eli: And help us watch Bambi.

Ezra: And help me to have a lightning mcqueen party.

Eli: And Santa Clause.

Ezra: Yes, and Santa Clause with presents.

Eli: Yes.

Ezra: Yes.

God is not a vending machine or a drive thru restaurant. I know this.

My boys are (obviously) still learning this.

However wrong this vending machine view of God that they currently posses, there are a few things that I could stand to learn from them.

I love that they felt like they could talk to Jesus without any prompting from me and not at the "traditional" times. The backseat of the van on an errand run is a great time to talk with their God.

I love that they felt like they could talk to Him about things that were important to them. Trick or treating, bambi, lightning mcqueen, and santa claus.

But mostly I loved their sense of expectation that came with the prayer. In their minds they had prayed for it...therefore, it was a done deal. They won't be surprised by God.

Yes, we have a lot of work to do on grounding their theology.

But I am reminded (yet again) of how much I stand to learn from them.

But Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me. Don't stop them! For the kingdom of heaven belongs to those who are like these children." (Matthew 19:14)

nothing like a bearded man with an ax

and a baby?

and a pretty pink burp cloth in the back pocket.

oh yeah.

that's how i like em.

Memory Monday

I waited patiently for the Lord;

he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock and gave me a new place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust.

Psalm 40:1-4

8 Common Reactions to my Adoptive/Transracial Family

I've gotten used to the different kinds of looks and interactions I get when I am out and about with all of my kids.

I thought I'd give voice to some of my personal favorites. And yes, the post was born out of an experience at a store yesterday where I encountered about 3 of these within the span of 30 minutes.

1. The Quizzical Look

Is she running a daycare? Did some guy(s) knock her up and leave her with all those kids? Are they all hers? I'd like to ask but instead I'll just do a double take. Then a triple take. Then just whisper to whomever I'm with.

2. The "You Must Be A Saint" Look

Self explanatory, but if smiles could gush...

3. The Disapproving Look

Again, self explanatory.

4. The "Didn't your Mother ever Teach you not to ask those Questions" Interaction

How much did he cost? Are you his real mom? Are his real parents dead? Where did you get him? Are you sure he doesn't have _______?

5. The "God Bless You/Superhero" Interaction

You are doing such a good thing. He is so lucky to have you. You must be a missionary.

6. The "Hollywood" Interaction

OH.MY.GOSH. HE. LOOKS. JUST. LIKE. ZAHARA. JOLIE-PITT. (Or some other famous brown skinned child who shares no resemblance to him other than the color of his skin.)

7. The "Hair" Interaction

Stuffing their hands into his hair and remarking "oh, i just LOVE his hair..." Is it hard to keep up with? Do you have to comb it? I just need to touch it!

8. (my personal favorite) The "Six Levels of Separation" Interaction

My cousins sisters best friends co-workers twice removed great aunt knows someone who knows someone who adopted and I need to make a beeline to you and make this connection NOW!

______________________________________________________________________________

All you other adoptive families...any others you'd like to add?!

_________________________________________________________________________________

I realize that most people are just curious and/or misinformed on so much of the adoption process, and so, for the record I am not easily offended. We made the choice to become a transracial family and therefore, I readily accept all the curiosity. In fact, I welcome the questions because I'd love to do anything I can to encourage YOU (yes, you!) to consider adoption.

However, it would be good of you to think about how that question is being perceived by the child standing right next to me BEFORE you ask it.

snapshot(s): duct tape use #14,529

thursday thoughts

Eating raw mushrooms (a favorite snack of mine, dipped in hummus of course...) always makes me hiccup.

We have been soaking up every last bit of sunshine and warm weather this week...

Or rather, I have been savoring every last second of being able to send the kids out the door without it taking 75 hours to put jackets and hats and socks and ________ on. Besides the inevitable sickness that is always lurking in the wintery shadows, I think I dread the added time it takes to go out the door the most.

I got the extreme privilege of taking both Ezra and Zoe to the doctors this week for their respective well check ups. Because I am an idiot I scheduled it for the same time as Eli's speech and occupational therapy appointments. Therefore, Jeremiah and I divided and conquered, but somehow I think I ended up with the short end of the stick.

I have decided that small windowless doctors office appointment rooms are a special foretelling of what h.e.double.hockey.sticks. might be like. Perhaps combined with the atmosphere of chucky-cheese on a Saturday afternoon.

And what is is about a doctors office that suddenly makes your child want to lick everything?

Nevertheless, we made it through...and compared to last year's experience Ezra actually did quite well. We could only go up from last year though, so not sure that is the most accurate statement.

However, he is healthy and thriving, so I choose to count my many abundant blessings!

Less than 3 weeks until the big move. I have kicked it into high gear this week and slowly but surely boxes are filling up the house and my closets and cupboards are emptying.

Ella made her first pie with me this week...

Turned out quite yummy too.

She will probably end up being a better baker than me.

(let's hope so...)

Happy Thursday!

zoe elizabeth: three months

I'm not sure if it is possible to be too cute?

If it is, then she has got it covered.

Three months is the beginning of a glorious age.

Smiles, laughs, coo's...and the glimpses of a personality emerging.

I love it.

And now for the particulars:

Zoe weighs 14 1/2 lbs and is over 24 in long, placing her in the 95%. Her 3 month clothes are getting quite snug and most of her 6 month clothes are fitting perfect.

She has settled into a nice little routine of eating every 3-4 hours during the day and typically goes down for the night between 7-8pm. I wake her up to feed her right before I go to bed around 10pm and then she sleeps all night until around 7am. She takes two long naps (2hrs+) during the day and 1 shorter cat nap around dinner time.

Of course this is all subject to change based on dreadful occurrances like time changes and doctors visits that include vaccinations. Evil things, I tell ya.

She loves to be held and cuddled. And she already loves to face outward and look at everything. She has typical 4th child syndrome and doesn't like being alone if we are in another room. She likes to be in the middle of it all. In not so typical 4th child syndrome she is very sensitive to noise and startles very easily.

She still can't make up her mind if she likes her pacifier or not.

She is the only one of all my children to like her swing.

She loves to listen to her daddy play guitar.

She is starting to like her car seat more.

She has a lot to say these days and seems to be incredibly vocal. Oh dear.

She does not like being swaddled anymore.

She can roll over from tummy to back.

She is very discretionary with whom she likes and doesn't like. (Sorry to those she has insulted...you know who you are.)

And she is oh so deeply adored around these parts it's not even fair.

Happy three months my sweet Zoe!

snapshot(s): cardboard wonderland

I thought I'd start a new segment on this here ol' bloggy blog.

It is along the lines of my friend Tasha's "the view from here"...and the idea behind it is to feature a real time snapshot that captures the essence of our day/life/moment.

I think a lot of times a picture can capture a lot more than all my wordy words.

And so, without further ado, and more of my wordy words, our first snapshot:

not me monday: Oh, Ezra...

Ezra did not have a banner weekend...

Because Ezra did not throw a rock at a friend's car and crack their windshield.

And of course Ezra did not leave his underwear in the middle school bathroom where our church meets on Sunday.

And then Ezra did not body slam an unsuspecting victim in the hallway of said middle school.

And certainly Ezra did not randomly "moon" other kids after church.

Those pastor's kids...

I tell you, they are nothing but trouble.

Not that my Ezra would do those things. Oh no. Not him.

the car seat personality test

I've decided that I can deduce a lot about my kids unique personalities from how they respond to Zoe crying while in her car seat.

Eli: Either ignores it completely or tries to rub her head and give her a kiss.

Ezra: Puts his hands over his ears and tells me "Mom, Zoe's crying", "Mom, Zoe's crying", "Mom, Zoe's crying", "Mom, Zoe's crying..."

Ella: Gives me a "look" and tells me "Mom, she is just going to have to cry."

Eli is sweetness personified,

Ezra freaks out,

and Ella is full of practicality.

My favorite part is when they are all doing these reactions simultaneously to Zoe's crying. I'm sure you could tell a lot about my personality during those moments.

Ahem.

Not that this sweet little face ever cries, of course.

thursday thoughts: treasure trove

On a recent walk around the pond (which I've been trying to get in as much as possible before we move) the kids picked up all kinds of treasures...

A "holy" leaf.

A turtle shell remnant.

A "bear claw" shaped piece of bark.

And a seed pod.

How I love their idea of treasure.

They love it when I make up treasure hunts for them...

Ella hit the treasure chest (yes, jackpot would work better, but it wouldn't fit as well with my treasure theme) when she got a brother who allows her to do this to him...

And I am totally stealing this idea from this months readers digest, but if I were to make a list of the top five things (my treasures, if you will) I would grab out of my house (besides my kids, duh) in the event of a fire it would look something like this:

1. Computer (with external hard drive)

2. Camera

3. Ezra's blankie's

4. My purse

5. Box of memento's I keep on my beside table (old love letters, kids hospital bracelets, etc.)

What would your list include?

Happy Thursday!

white space

Matthew 11:28-30

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Recently at the conference Jeremiah and I attended with the other Creek staff, I was hit smack in the face with a very important spiritual discipline I have been sadly neglecting.

Resting.

Stopping.

Renewing.

Aka: observing a Sabbath.

As a ministry family Sundays are not days of rest for us. And while Jeremiah was taking Fridays as his "day off" we realized that was not really good planning for our family and our schedule. He is gearing up for the weekend ahead and finalizing little details for Sundays service. And I was using that day to catch up on running errands (without 4 little ones in tow) or grocery shopping or cleaning house or...

Our phones were always answered on these supposed days off. Nothing was set apart or sacred...time for reconnecting as husband and wife, family time, or time for renewing our intimacy with God.

There was no time in the week where people were made small and God was made big.

This lack of margin in my life makes me tend to respond with anger rather than patience. Having no white space makes me choose frustration over creating teaching moments with my kids. It trends towards co-habitating with my husband rather than an intimate relationship. Anxiousness trumps peace. Cultivating friendships and relationships are relegated to a line item on my to do list. And most sad of all, my relationship with God grows stale.

We knew that we needed to change this and for us that meant rearranging our schedules to make Mondays our new days off. To set limits on answering work calls and texts and running errands.

And for me I knew I needed to make small changes in my daily life. To carve out time where I make myself sit on the couch with a cup of tea and read a book...even if for only five minutes. To go for a walk (without my cell phone!) and breathe deep. Not to try and be productive, not work on something on my list, and not even to talk with my husband or play with my kids.

I am amazed at the difference this is making in my attitude.

(God actually knows what he is talking about...go figure!)

I love this paragraph that Craig Groeschel wrote in his book Weird, I think it describes perfectly the way I feel when I have taken the time to rest:

"My soul felt like it was thawing.

My mind became quiet.

My senses heightened and I noticed the incredible work of God.

Instead of overwhelming me, the noise of my Children brought a deep sense of joy.

I felt at peace with God. He was in control.

I felt like myself.

Fully alive.

Fully present.

Full aware of God's goodness."

Halloween 2011

First, the annual carving of the pumpkins...





















Second, the preparation for trick or treating. Check out the concentration on the Daddy's face...

Third, the finished product: A lion, a Max (from Where the Wild Things Are), a cheerleader, and a duck...

Bonus: A squished duck in her car seat...