the nothing that is everything

I wrote a few weeks ago how I've been working my way through memorizing Philippians 2. It's coming along, except for one verse I keep getting stuck at:

"He made himself nothing."

I'm not stuck technically speaking.

In fact, as I process through this (which is what blogging is ever so helpful for me in doing...) I realize that maybe stuck isn't the right word.

I'm caught on?
I'm held up at?

No, no. None of those are right.

I'm overwhelmed by this verse.

Yes, that's it.

Overwhelmed. Undone.

So much of my life has been consumed with the pursuit of becoming something.
Much more than I ever even dare to admit to anyone, even myself.

But it's there.
It's true.

It's proven in my desire to be liked, to be thought highly of, to put that best foot forward, to feel that twinge of satisfaction at seeing those 137 likes.

And yet, here it is again:

"He made himself nothing."

Add insult to injury, preceding those words, I am told that "my attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."

As I meditate on those words, my heart softens, changes.

Jesus wasn't nothing. He was, by his very nature, God. But this wasn't something to be grasped, something he fought to hang onto. He humbled himself. He made himself nothing.

Lord Jesus, forgive my pursuit of being something. 

Help me to embrace becoming nothing, 

for you are everything. 

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