on being right (and wrong)

By | 8:05 AM 1 comment

As a Momma, I have a lot of "training" moments with my kids. Teachable moments, correcting moments...call it what you will, but we all know those moments.

The following are purely hypothetical situations that could happen in our house on any given day:

Zoe has screamed at her brother(s),
Ezra has punched his brother.
Eli has pouted in his bed after a situation didn't go his way.
Ella has been impatient with her sister.

Again, purely hypothetical scenarios that could happen.


When I step into a training moment, I know what would be the right choice for my kids to make. I am the mother, after all.

Bu here's the thing I am realizing: I am never closer to being completely wrong as when I know I am right.

(How's that for a tongue twister.)

It's not the being right part that is wrong, it's how I steward being right that can become terribly wrong. And not just wrong, but a wrong that forces the consequence of driving a wedge between me and my children...and their relationship with Jesus.

When I am convinced of my rightness, it is easy for me to justify a myriad of responses. All of a sudden anger, accusations, loss of self-control, harshness and berating become okay...because I am right. Right?

I judge my children based on their actions and myself based on my intentions.

I know, ouch.

All of a sudden my rightness justifies those same wrong reactions...and I become a modern day pharisee.

I am learning that being right doesn't give me the freedom to denounce in judgement harshly, but it does give me the authority to impart grace and mercy.

As usual, Jesus is the perfect example of how we do this: How he handled the adulteress woman brought to him for stoning in John 8 is a good place to start. The woman was obviously in the wrong, caught in the act, and the pharisees were technically in the right. However, Jesus draws the line in the sand for the pharisees and calls them out on their hypocrisy while he builds a bridge to the woman and offers her grace and forgiveness...along with the truth to "go and sin no more."

I too often offer lines in the sand when I should be focused on building bridges.

I have come to realize that this same confusion of lines instead of bridges and harsh judgement instead of grace applies not only to my parenting, but also my relationship with Jeremiah, my friends and family, and even my reactions to situations such as all the recent Ferguson happenings or my personal convictions on homosexuality and the sanctity of life to name a few. And honestly, even my reactions to bad customer service or that car that pulled out in front of me.

The next time I know I am right,
(which will be very soon as I am rarely wrong...) 
(you did pick up that I was being sarcastic in that sentence?!)
I want to be just as focused on acting right...not just being right.

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Becky Swann said...

Oh you are sooo right!;) this has been a topic around our household and I loved how well you said it! Merry Christmas!