First, I had Ella.
She was basically the perfect child.
She followed all the rules.
Slept good.
Ate anything.
Loved to please me.
So on and so forth.
And then came along Ezra.
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| Ezra, circa 2012 |
Oh, Ezra.
Oh, oh, Ezra.
Within the first 6 weeks of his life I decided to burn all the parenting books that had worked like a charm with Ella. And I've been burning them ever since because NONE of them apply to my Ezra. He doesn't fit a mold and he won't be talked into anything. But he has a nice dimple that has saved his life a time or two or twenty.
Raising Ezra has shown me that parenting is way more about my sanctification than his...
Learning to trust the Lord,
to listen humbly,
and cry out in weakness...God is a strategic dimple creator and he knew just what he was doing when he gave Ezra to me.
I wrote this in my journal this morning:
Lord, he is yours. You, Lord, are the best thing I can do for him. He doesn't need rules, pressure, entertainment, or shame - he needs you. If I can show him your Kingdom, allow him to experience your Story, I know that's where he will find a Savior to fall in love with. Thank you that I can rest in the knowledge that you love him and pursue him and have big plans for him. Thank you that you make up for my many failures.
"I can put up good markers, but I cannot chart his course." - Jen Hatmaker (For the Love)
I may not be charting his course, but I am resting and trusting in the best Marker that exists. And I'm so crazy grateful for this chance to be his Mom.
Dear Ezra,
You turned eight today and you had a great day...playing with your cousins, eating banana splits, opening up your presents of "real" artists pencils and paper, skyping with your buddies in Haiti, and just absorbing all the love that your big and crazy family has for you. I may get so stinking frustrated and exasperated with you, but the truth is...I'm crazy for you. You are so fun and creative and persistent and energetic.
I don't just love you, I really like you too.
Happy birthday you big eight year old you!
Love today and always,
Mom
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