July 4th holds a special place in my heart, just not for the traditional reasons.
Today was the due date for my 3rd child, our little girl Myla.
She would have been five years old this Independence Day.
Despite the passing of 5 years and the addition of 2 other children, I still wonder...
What would she have looked like?
Dark like Zoe or fair like Ella?
What would she have lit up at?
Been scared of?
Outgoing like Ezra or a bit more timid like Ella?
I treasure the memory of seeing her little hand wave to us in the ultrasound.
The flutterings I felt in my belly as she was learning to move.
I'm so grateful for those memories. I'm so grateful I got to carry her those few short months.
Even though my life is so incredibly full and I am overflowing with joy, there is a part of me that will always long for the day I see her again. And it feels good and right to take time today to remember her, to mourn for what could have been, but delight in the comfort of her creator and the peace that comes in trusting in His sovereignty.
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My dear Myla,
You are missed. You are loved. And you are being remembered in my heart today.
All my love forever,
Your Mama
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