an apology

By Jennifer Hambrick | 12:52 PM 4 comments
Dear Eli,

I'm sorry that even though it has only been three short months I sometimes forget what you have been through in your little life and don't show you more patience.

I'm sorry that I don't know what you are trying to communicate so many times out of the day.

I'm sorry that I can't make your brother be nice to you 100% of the time.

I'm sorry that I don't hold you more.

I'm sorry that I make so many mistakes and get so many things wrong.

I'm sorry that you had to leave your country and all that was familiar to you.

I'm sorry that at the impossibly young age of three you have a lot to grieve over.

But mostly...I am sorry that you were born to a mother who loved you but couldn't take care of you and instead you got me...a mother who can take care of you but is still learning exactly how to love you.

But.

I do love you. Even on the hard days (like today).

Forever,
your momma
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4 comments:

Bobbie Grant said...

So honest and so sweet.

October 6, 2010 at 2:57 PM
Erin said...

Oh, as an adoptive mommy, I can SO relate...and our daughter was adopted through foster care so we don't even have the language barrier. Praying that you guys have a better day tomorrow!

October 6, 2010 at 9:44 PM
Ashley said...

I could write this exact same thing to my adopted boys from Ethiopia. Thank you for always letting me know I'm not so far out there by myself.

October 6, 2010 at 10:20 PM
Brenda said...

Dear Jen, thank you so much for your sweet blog. It is so full of love and heart, it makes me tearful often. Don't apologize, Eli is so blessed to have you for his momma. You're the best. Call me sometime, I want to go on one of your adventures with you

October 13, 2010 at 4:48 AM

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