A perfect day for throwing rocks into the river.
And playing king of the rock.
And collecting acorns under an oak tree.
Despite my idyllic pictures I have been struggling this week.
With melancholy.
With spilling things.
With feeling guilty because I still feel so unattached to Eli at times.
With feeling sadness over the scars on his body that I don't know the origin of.
With feeling frustrated at my lack of patience.
With feeling defeated because I can't seem to get through to Ezra's heart.
With feeling overwhelmed at the endless dishwashers to be unloaded and laundry to be folded.
With feeling discontent despite the excess I live with.
With struggling in the first place...because I should know better. Because I do know better.
I know. Kind of a downer...but I always promised I'd be honest.
But. Enough about me.
Here's a video that is more uplifting than my thoughts today:
Now go read this.
There. Don't you feel better already. (I do too.)
Happy Thursday!
3 comments:
Hey Jenn! Just wondering...do you read "It's Almost Naptime"? They're in the process of adopting as well and she posts some really deep, encouraging stuff for parents.
itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com
Jennifer, I'm in the same boat...only there are days I know my side is sinking! It is the ENEMY! If he can't stop the adoption, he'll attempt to ruin the relationship after...keep fighting, Eli is worth it!! And let me tell you, I have Caleb(whose also 3)..and OH MY WORD! I'm with ya! I'll be praying for you all.
Jenn, I didn't watch your video, but these pictures are really cute. Actually, as I am sitting down and catching up here while I am away, ALL your pictures are just adorable. Sorry to hear you had a hard week with all these feelings and emotions. But good for you for being real and honest. Miss you guys! Today we get to go to the orphanage; I just can't wait, and my heart is close to Eli today as I think of you guys and his story.
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