Step 1: Move into a new house and become dissatisfied with your old chairs.
Step 2: Try to talk yourself out of it because they are in perfectly good shape and you really should focus on the 10,459 other things that are more important to get done.
Step 3: Fail at step 2.
Step 4: Go to fabric store and pick out new fabric.
Step 5: In reality this is just a continuation of step 4 because it takes so long to complete step 4 because why does there have to be 713 choices?
Step 6: Finally chose 4 different fabrics because 1 is just so 2010.
Step 7: Wait for a quiet afternoon to begin project.
Step 8: Again, just a continuation of step 7.
Step 9: Gather up all old chairs, tools, and new fabrics into the garage.
Step 9: Remove old layers of upholstery.
Step 10: Curse myself for using so many staples on old layers of upholstery.
Step 11: Reminisce about how each stage of your married life was reflected in the past fabric choices. Original layer was a slightly hideous yet oddly not so hideous as it first seemed 8 years ago when we were gifted the dining room set 1960's floral pattern.
2nd layer was a light tan color with no pattern. I definitely chose this before kids came into the picture. 3rd layer was a nice indoor/outdoor fabric in a dark color with pattern. Um, definitely kid friendly.
Step 12: Run inside to feed crying baby who decided not to take a nap.
Step 13: Lay out new fabric and cut out appropriate size.
Step 14: Pull out basket of train tracks for son #1 and son #2 who also decide that naps are overrated.
Step 15: Get new fabric stapled onto 1st chair.
Step 16: Run inside to fix a snack for son #2 to prevent him from dying of hunger.
Step 17: Get new fabric stapled onto 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chairs.
Step 18: Rescue son #2 from certain death.
Step 19: Step on staple while running to carry out step 18.
Step 20: Remove staple from flip flop.
Step 21: Stop to explain to daughter #1 the reasons why we can't move all the decorative rock gravel and place it in the middle of the driveway.
Step 22: Get new fabric stapled onto 5th chair.
Step 23: Get new fabric stapled onto 6th and final chair. Oh wait. Realize for the 3,419th time that you don't have a 6th and final chair because...ahem...someone once thought we would never ever have a need for a 6th chair and threw it away. True story.
There you go.
Now don't you just wanna go and do it for yourself?!
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