silence is weird and golden, muddy waters, and peace. lots of it.

By | 9:28 AM 1 comment

We are staying with our Via family in VA.
Specifically, we are staying in a house on 40 very secluded acres.
It is very green, very spacious, and very very quiet.

I can't seem to stop just sitting on the porch staring at all the green and absorbing all the quiet.

I've attempted to blog over the last week but I feel like my words are all muddy.

And so, I've just been silent.

I don't want to come across as unhappy or discontent, because that is so far away from the truth, but I don't want to come across as blissfully happy, because that too is not the truth.

I love being here and I hate not being there. All at the same time.

I was tucking Zoe into bed last night and sang her lulluby.
But it isn't just her lullaby anymore...
I have memory after memory of night after night of singing the same song to the little ones in Haiti.
And I miss them.

It really is a muddy pit, these emotions I am doing by best to allow out. Never will home be fully home again, for my home is with those I love the most and there is a divide now.

In the midst of the mud there is peace.
A peace that goes deeper than feeling.

Which is good.
Because my feelings are a quagmire at the moment.

My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 
Psalm 73:26
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Tasha Via said...

Beautifully written Jenn! Love you, in your muddy peaceful state:) Can't wait to hang out soon.