becoming a student of your daughter

By | 3:56 PM Leave a Comment

My oldest isn't getting any younger.

Funny how that works.

We are close to double digits (how in the world can I have an almost 10 year old?!) and already, at times, I find myself at a loss with her...

Is she feeling goofy? Sad? Up for a joke? Dance party or don't bother me? The emotions at this age pass with lightning speed and I'm super talented at getting it wrong. (Or maybe that's her dad?)

I'm realizing that in order for us to maintain a closeness through these upcoming years that the responsibility falls to me.

It's my job, not hers.

The years of my influencing her interests are dimming. She is developing her own passions, her own pursuits and...gasp...sometimes those interests don't interest me. Sometimes those pursuits make me twitchy. (Like the whole baking thing...the mess, the mess, oh, the freakin' mess.)

The fact that I don't like it or care about it isn't her problem. It's mine. And I need to get over it and get with it if there is ever going to be the hope of remaining on her team in these coming years.

It doesn't matter that I don't like fantasy books. She does. Therefore, I will read some fantasy books so we have stuff to talk about that interest her.

It doesn't matter that I could care less about ________________. She cares about it. Therefore, I will care about it.

I will study her.
I will pay attention.
I will tune in.

Sometimes I will fake it.
Praying that I will make it.

Because it's my job.
Because it's my joy.
Because she is worth it.
Because we are worth it.


With all that said, I am completely out of my element and comfort zone (if there even is such a thing in the world of parenting?!) when it comes to the subject of parenting a tween. Feel free to pass along any advice or book suggestions or resources that have helped you through this stage!
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