I've gotten used to the different kinds of looks and interactions I get when I am out and about with all of my kids.
I thought I'd give voice to some of my personal favorites. And yes, the post was born out of an experience at a store yesterday where I encountered about 3 of these within the span of 30 minutes.
1. The Quizzical Look
Is she running a daycare? Did some guy(s) knock her up and leave her with all those kids? Are they all hers? I'd like to ask but instead I'll just do a double take. Then a triple take. Then just whisper to whomever I'm with.
2. The "You Must Be A Saint" Look
Self explanatory, but if smiles could gush...
3. The Disapproving Look
Again, self explanatory.
4. The "Didn't your Mother ever Teach you not to ask those Questions" Interaction
How much did he cost? Are you his real mom? Are his real parents dead? Where did you get him? Are you sure he doesn't have _______?
5. The "God Bless You/Superhero" Interaction
You are doing such a good thing. He is so lucky to have you. You must be a missionary.
6. The "Hollywood" Interaction
OH.MY.GOSH. HE. LOOKS. JUST. LIKE. ZAHARA. JOLIE-PITT. (Or some other famous brown skinned child who shares no resemblance to him other than the color of his skin.)
7. The "Hair" Interaction
Stuffing their hands into his hair and remarking "oh, i just LOVE his hair..." Is it hard to keep up with? Do you have to comb it? I just need to touch it!
8. (my personal favorite) The "Six Levels of Separation" Interaction
My cousins sisters best friends co-workers twice removed great aunt knows someone who knows someone who adopted and I need to make a beeline to you and make this connection NOW!
All you other adoptive families...any others you'd like to add?!
I realize that most people are just curious and/or misinformed on so much of the adoption process, and so, for the record I am not easily offended. We made the choice to become a transracial family and therefore, I readily accept all the curiosity. In fact, I welcome the questions because I'd love to do anything I can to encourage YOU (yes, you!) to consider adoption.
However, it would be good of you to think about how that question is being perceived by the child standing right next to me BEFORE you ask it.