in the morning when i rise (and every second of every day)

I like the early morning here in Haiti.

It's cooler.
It's a little bit quieter.
And, its one of the only times of the day that I am able to find some time alone.

I often find myself just sitting in the semi-darkness calling out to Christ within my spirit.
Sitting in His presence.

I struggled with being able to do this back at home. There was always something I needed to think about, a chapter I needed to finish, a list I needed to make, mark off, or get started on.

Not here.

The moment I get alone with God here I almost always forget everything but crying out to Him.

I am still in the Word daily, but the majority of my time with the Lord is just sitting in His presence.

If there is one word that sums up the difference between my times spent with the Lord in America and my times spent with him here in Hait it would be "desperate."

I feel so desperate for Him.

I believe this is born out of my feelings of being...

dependent,
weak,
powerless,
selfish,
unworthy,
and utterly incapable of making it through the day without His help and presence.

Scary adjectives, but they put me in a beautiful place. A place where I can't go one day without Him.

My dependence on Him is a slap in the face to the American ideal of independence. Yet, apart from Him I can do nothing. My dependence is my strength because He is strong.

I think this is why so many people remark on the "joy" they see in the lives and faces of people living in dire circumstances...whether that be in Haiti, Uganda, or all over the world. When everything else is stripped away and all you have is Him...

He fulfills, sustains, and brings joy and contentment regardless of any circumstance.

He is enough.

Like a deer longs for water, so my soul longs for you, O God. 
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. 
Psalm 42:1

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