I did not turn a timer on to remind me to check on the chicken. Because my sharp mind does not require the use of such devices.
And I did not go to a spot in my house where I could not hear the timer. Because...well, because that would just be silly.
Therefore I did not emerge from said spot in the house where the timer could not be heard to see billowing smoke filling up the kitchen.
And of course I would not make a statement like, "a few more minutes and I would have to be calling the fire department" within ear shot of my children. Which of course would not have been met with deer in the headlights big eyeballs and excited, "oh can we Mom?!! can we?!!"
I did not open every window of the house and turn on all the fans in attempts to clear out the evidence.
And a major thunderstorm did not come through about five minutes later.
And it did not near flood the inside of my house because of the above mentioned open windows.
Of course, then, I did not have a smoky, smelly, damp house full of children with big eyeballs and disappointed hearts.
And we did not call for pizza.
The end. (Just felt like that story needed an ending)
Nope. Never happened. Not me.