Eli Update: 10 months

It's hard to believe, but we are here...crouching ever closer to that one year mark.

Eli Cade. Oh, Eli Cade. Where oh where to begin?

He is a sweet and silly and oh so stubborn boy who has come so far.

As of last week he weighed 35 lbs. Compared to the tiny 27 lbs he was at homecoming. And he is at equal height with Ezra now. I won't be surprised to see him overtake his brother within the next year.

He is a jumping fool these days. Couch, coffee table, sidewalk, out of the van, fireplace edge...any ledge will do. He actually went all the way up the McDonald's playground by himself last week for the first time. And climbed up a straight ladder at the park. Without prompting or encouragement from me. Stronger, for sure.

We started official speech therapy once a week about a month ago and we are still deciding on how it is going. He is still testing his boundaries with the therapist (I told you he is a stubborn one!) and I think once the therapist is able to establish her authority we will see progress begin. We also are on track to begin occupational therapy to help him with some of the physical and everyday area's that he needs to develop a bit more. This whole therapy thing is a new one for me and I have to admit I am learning as much as he is, probably more.

His surgery to fix his severe plagiocephaly is set up for June 24th. Approximately one month away. We are still at odd's with our insurance company regarding who is paying for this surgery, but numerous reasons prompted us to go ahead and move forward with it, regardless of the outcome of the insurance appeal. God didn't provide every single penny we needed to bring him home to just stop now. And we are trusting in that.

We are yet one step closer to ending our seemingly never ending stream of paperwork. Last week we filed our final adoption papers with the state. Which, I've come to find out is quite different from the "petition" to file final adoption papers that we did several months ago. Sigh. But please don't get me started on the inefficiency of our government offices.

He LOVES his pillow pet. Seriously. It is his first love that he sleeps with and communicates with and wrestles with and would take everywhere if I would let him. I might have some jealousy issues with his furry friend.

He has honed his fine art of annoying his older sister. He can now "copy" her (you other moms know what I'm talking about), sit directly in front of her when she is trying to watch tv, and learned how to sneak into her room just to rearrange her barbies.

Ezra and him really get along just like regular old brothers now a'days. They play and fight and fight and play. They are such polar opposites on the personality fence that I actually think they won't have a lot of competition between them, despite being only 6 months apart in age.

And as for the whole attachment thing...well, I am learning just how much of a dance it is.
Sometimes he is moving forward and I am moving back.
Sometimes I am reaching forward and he retreats back.
Some days are effortless and joyful.
Some days are (still) painful and awkward.
But the longer we dance together...the more comfortable and natural we become with each other.

And that is a beautiful thing, 10 months in the making.


2 comments:

Karen said...

Ah, yes, the attachment "dance". We adopted our boys (not bio brothers) at ages 8 and 10. The 10 year old had severe RAD, and was an angry ball of muscle when we became a family. It took 3 years of therapy (theraplay model with a life-saving therapist), and now he's 16, with a conscience and empathy and essentially a good heart. His brain will always be wired to go straight to cynical, untrusting survival mode, and that makes me sad, but he is a different person now. I recall all too well sleeping with one eye open, being physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted taking the abuse he had to give. When I could step back, I understood why he didn't trust us to parent him. In the moment, it is tough. Fortunately, my husband believed me when I told him what happened, since most of it was directed at me when he wasn't around. (Typical to direct the hurt and anger toward Mom.) It is a work in progress, but I am happy to hear that you do see progress. Prayers and blessings to you!

Megan said...

you don't know how reassuring it is to hear that concept of the "attachment dance"! i have struggled with a lot of guilt over my feelings (& lack of attachment) toward william compared to how i feel toward my biological son. this reminded me that it's normal for it to take time & fluctuate from day to day. thank you!!!

 

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