dirty laundry

By | 2:35 PM 7 comments
I had one of those days yesterday.

A day where I just felt swallowed up by motherhood.

A day where the whines and fights and laundry and meals just seem to outnumber the giggles and hugs and i love you's. A day where I was tired and just wanted 5 minutes out of the day to forget the fact that I even have kids. A day where I wanted to pee with the bathroom door shut and eat my chocolate bar out in the open, dag gone it. A day where panic hits me and I think maybe I am not cut out for this whole mothering thing and what the crap was I thinking to be bringing another little person into this world.

It is always hard for me to admit to these days.

One, I know too many people that read this blog and I have a problem with caring too much what people think.

Two, I realize how unappreciative and ungrateful I come across.

Three, I realize how silly it all sounds by the time I am done writing it all out.

And four, I KNOW how blessed I am.

I know this.
I know this.

I know I shouldn't complain about laundry, because I have the luxury of a washing machine and am not washing in a river. I know I shouldn't complain about the never satiated hunger of my children, because I HAVE a pantry full of food I CAN feed them and am not scraping together dirt cookies like my friends in Haiti do in order to still the growling of their babies bellies.

I know these things.

I do. I do. I do.

But. On days like yesterday...knowing and feeling can just be so disconnected.

Thank goodness that days like yesterday usually only last a day. Thank goodness that they are usually followed up with days where the hugs and giggles and i love you's come in abundant waves. Thank goodness that writing it all out always brings a renewed sense of perspective.

And thank goodness that the truth I know always overcomes the lies I let in.
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7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aye, you're human, and honest and an amazing mother.
Thanks for sharing. G-d bless.

Perfect post. I absolutely 100% have those days!

Kathleen said...

So good to know that other people have days like that.

Love you, Jenn:)

I love you too Jenn. I think you are an amazing wife and mother. Happy Mother's Day.

I hear ya!
Think I've found a solution ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxqwJFnwuOM&feature=player_profilepage

S, E, or O said...

Oh my goodness! Every single day last week for me was exactly what you described. And now, my little boy is sick with some sort of virus, so I am doing more laundry and listening to more whining. I am actually glad you posted this because it makes me feel I am not alone. I hope this next week is much better.

Oh, and I totally hear you about wanting to eat your chocolate bar out on the open.