Why I am going to stop telling my kids "good job" so often, Introduction

I remember reading an article for a child development class during my college days that presented the idea that telling a child "good job" could actually be detrimental to them. I remember thinking it was an interesting idea then promptly dismissing it...after all, kids were a long way off in my future!

Fast forward a few years later...

As a mom of two I've replaced my backpack with a diaper bag and my textbook highlighters with washable markers...and the "good job" phrase can escape my lips on many occasions throughout the day.

And so, I recently came across another article in one of my Parents magazines that re-introduced the idea that as parents, we should be cautious with our use of "good job".

It got me thinking...and reading some more...
and I thought I would share what I have learned in a series over the next few days.

Let me preface this by stating that I in no way diminishing the need for us as parents to encourage and support our children. I am just trying to evaluate the way I sometimes go about this...and does it line up with what my kids really need or what scripture says?

I'd love to hear your opinions on this subject over the next few days...

5 comments:

Jessie said...

Im not entirely certain why "good job" is such a bad thing to say.

Kelly Via said...

I think I need to hear more before I can comment. I am curious to hear why you are cautious about 'good job'...I'll wait for part 2....

Nyea said...

I am also curious to hear why it is bad. I am in human growth and dev. class now and I am very interested to hear what you have to say. and after hearing what you have to say I would love to give my input!

Jeanne Dellinger said...

I say you're right on, sister! John Rosemond, who is my parenting guru, has alot to say about overpraising. I do actually say "Good Job" quite often, but only when they really have done a good job at something. Study after study has shown that an excess of praise does not help kids' performance. I've read that saying things like "I see you colored a purple tree" or "You climbed up and slid down" (note the lack of goods or bads) are much better than "I love your picture" or "Great job on the slide." Rosemond actually says that, since the meek shall inherit the earth, our goal for our kids shouldn't be a great self-esteem. But he says to feel good about ourselves we have to actually accomplish things for ourselves. I hugely recommend his book "Parenting by the Book" which uses the Bible as a parenting reference.

Heather said...

good job, Jen... hahaha I can't wait to read part 2.

 

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