Reason #2 why I am going to be more careful telling my children "good job"...

You can read the intro and reason #1 by clicking here then here.

2) I don't want to steal their pleasure

As my children grow and become more independent, I want them to be able to take delight in their accomplishments and to feel pride in what they’ve learned how to do.

Yesterday Ella was working really hard on un-zipping a zipper on her lunch box. It was stuck and she truly was working hard on it. After struggling for a few minutes she finally got it open. I had to bite back the “good job” that was forming on my lips and instead I didn’t say anything. She looked at me and exclaimed “I did it!” I then just smiled and said, “yes you did!” and shared in her sense of accomplishment.

I cherish the occasions when my children manage to do something for the first time, or accomplish something that was hard for them, or do something better than they’ve ever done it before. I hope I can resist the urge to always knee-jerk a “good job” off…simply because I don’t want to dilute their joy. I want them to share their pleasure with me, not look to me for a verdict.

I want the “I did it” exclaimed, not the “Was that good?” asked uncertainly.

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