After the Adoption Advice

Since I have been doing this for over seven weeks I guess you could say I am the expert now (insert strong sarcastic tone) and I thought I'd share some of the sage wisdom I have gained throughout this journey called life after adoption. These are in no particular order or importance.

• Make some time for yourself every day. Take five minutes to paint your toenails. Eat a bowl of ice cream. Walk slowly and breath deeply to get the mail.
  

• Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. Don't feel guilty even if it is not a pretty feeling.

• Have sex with your spouse. Or go on a date. It's kinda important to feel connected and on the same team.
  

• Cut yourself some slack. Peanut butter and jelly (or ice cream) for dinner really is ok. Even four days in a row.
  

• Play with your new child everyday. Set aside time not to teach or instruct or read into everything...just play.
  

• Don't feel guilty for setting limits with your new child. Just because they came from an orphanage doesn't mean they can't understand (and ultimately need and want) clear and definable limits.

• Read and read and read all the expert advice. Then don't be afraid to go with your gut (even if it contradicts the experts). After all, you are the parent and you KNOW your child the best.

• Find a good book or tv show to lose yourself into when the kids are sleeping. Your mind and emotions will need a break.

And finally...the most helpful thing I am learning to do as a new adoptive mom:

• When in doubt: extend grace. To your husband, to your new child, to your old children, to yourself, and to the stranger giving you weird looks at the grocery store.

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Anybody have anything else they want to add to the list?

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