I did not let my child eat cold pizza that was dropped in a parking lot. That is irresponsible.
I did not watch son #1 faceplant down the ramp at church.
Two seconds later I did not watch only daughter faceplant on top of son #1.
I did not knock son #2 over in my hurry to check on son #1 and only daughter.
And I most definitely did not laugh at the crying debacle we created that blocked all traffic and pulled all stares. That would be mean.
I did not eat the leftover crust of the above mentioned pizza. That is just gross.
(of course i wasn't crazy hungry enough for that pizza to look good because I always remember to eat three square meals a day.)