Being pregnant just six short months after adopting has brought up a lot of new thoughts about Eli's first mom. What was her pregnancy like? Was she sick a lot? Did her heart smile the first time she felt him move? Or was she sad? Overwhelmed?
And of course, that leads to questions about Eli as a baby...questions I'll never have answered.
I am forever and inexplicably linked to this woman. This first mother of my son. The one who carried him and birthed him and nursed him. And loved him. I have no doubt of the motivating factor behind her decisions.
I traced the outline of her hand in my journal when we met in Ethiopia.
I wanted a physical and tangible reminder of my responsibility to her.
To take care of our son.
To protect him.
And, mostly, to love him.
5 comments:
Beautiful post, Jenn. I hope you feel better soon!
There are no words. So beautiful.
I have to tell you that I found your blog because I googled my maiden name and have been lurking for a few weeks now...
Your blog is so stunning and honest...You have such a beautiful family and congrats on your pregnancy!
This was a beautiful post and Eli is so blessed to have you as his mommy...
I love seeing your heart for the Lord and for your family. You truly are a gem and a wonderful example of the blessed grace of God in the life of a young woman. I rejoice with you in your pregnancy and the blessing you see it to be in spite of feeling sick. This child is very fortunate to be a part of such a precious family. Love you!
What a wonderful thing being a mom!
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