the unknown

As Zoe meets milestone after new milestone...rolling, first foods, crawling...

Eli has been coming to me frequently with questions such as:

When did I crawl?
Did I have teeth then?
Did I like pears as a baby?

I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.

I am finding out that there are more and more questions that he is asking that I just don't have answers for.

I don't really care about the medical questionnaires I have to leave blank because I just don't know.

But I'd give my left eyeball to know when he took his first step or what was his first word was. To know if he was born with hair or sucked his thumb.

And then it is easy to let my mind wander into territory it best stay out of...the unknown of what his early life was probably like.

I look at my sweet spoiled chubby Zoe and the abundance of love and attention and milk and clean clothes and love and attention and stimulation and milk and clean clothes and love and more love and sometimes my heart just breaks for the unknowns.



Our very first picture of "Chala.".


I know a day will come when he will be asking me much harder questions than these.
And I will be just as inadequate in having answers.

I can't control these unknowns.
But I can control what he will know from here on out...

He is loved.
Fiercely.
Deeply.
Unconditionally.

By us.
By his crazy big extended family.
And by His Heavenly Father.

And I pray that is enough to equip him to deal with the unknowns.


11 comments:

Jason and Charity Palmer said...

I think he's precious (along with your whole fam). And it sure seems to me that he's one loved lil guy. Thanks for being real and open!

MeMe & Poppee said...

We love him dearly and love it when he returns that love. He is so genuine, so gentle and so sweet.

Tasha Via said...

I'm beginning to have those same answers. Alethia isn't the one asking them yet, but Areyna and Zeke are full of "Did Alethia __________ when she was a baby?" and I just don't know.

You are such a great example of that unconditional love given in the midst of unknowns.

mommajeane said...

I remember this picture...My oh my who wouldn't fall head over heals with this sweetness. You can just tell he is all you shared and more. We love his tender heart and it brings us great joy to watch him discover life.

I am the mom said...

If you compare this picture with the one in your sidebar, they are like night and day. He is so happy and full of life with you! The Lord will give grace for the questions you can't answer, and you will always be able to answer the most important ones about who hos family is and where he is loved.

Jennifer said...

I'm a friend of Kelly & Tasha's. Love your blog & this post. We have two foster sons & are faced with "the unknown" from the past & unfortunately their future, often. It is tough & I so understand everything you said!

Stacey said...

Puts a lump in my throat. What a blessing it is to know that you've got his future. =)

Kelly Via said...

I remember sitting in your living room looking over his paperwork and seeing every picture you could get your hand on of Eli. That seems so long ago now! You are terrific parents for him, and I'm sure God will help you (and him) with the unknowns. Love reading from your heart about your sweet boy.

Erin said...

I think the hardest one I have ever heard from our daughter (adopted from foster care at almost 6, 11 years old now) is "I wish I had been born from your tummy instead of my birth moms." Me too sweet girl...me too. But I just remind her that God brought her to our family at the exact perfect time!

Stephanie said...

I love this post and would love to feature it on our website "We Are Grafted In" -- a Christian adoption blog where we seek to inform and encourage adoptive parents and those interested in adoption. I'd just need a brief bio and a pic to use when it is featured so we can direct people back to your blog.
Feel free to contact me with questions!
Stephanie
co-administrator of WAGI
www.wearegraftedin.com
smurphy 28 AT juno DOT com

Stephanie said...

Hi! We'd still love to feature this post on our site if you are interested. Just let me know!
Stephanie
co-administrator of WAGI

 

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