Ever since Eli came home I feel as though Jeremiah and I slipped into a sort of emergency mode in our parenting. Those early weeks were all about coping and struggling to find a new normal. And keeping Ezra from killing Eli. And getting more than two hours of consecutive sleep.
We were just reacting in our parenting.
As we approach the three month mark of Eli joining our family things are finally to the place where I was able to step back and be silent enough in my heart to allow the Holy Spirit room to convict me on this. Reactive parenting is not effective, it doesn't please God, it doesn't get to the heart of the behavior, and it frustrates the kids.
This weekend we sat down as a family and worked together to come up with some ground rules. Or Hambrick house rules as we call them. If you are in the Hambrick family then you are expected to live by these rules. Mommy and Daddy especially included.
1) Honor God
2) Obey Mom and Dad
3) Show Love
4) Be Self-Controlled
5) Be Grateful
These are prominently displayed in the house. Jeremiah wrote another silly song (Dan Zane eat your heart out) to help the kids remember them. We talked about the scriptures backing up these rules. And we laid out the consequences for breaking them.
At the risk of sounding overly simplistic...this is one of the best parenting decisions we have ever done. The kids seem to really get that these aren't just arbitrarily decided rules. The consequences are clear and take all the stress out of administering them...and help with my consistency. Which helps with their frustration. Which helps with my reactions. Which allows me the patience to talk about the heart of the issue.
Which is what parenting should be all about.
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What are some of your house rules?!
About Me
Jesus follower. After that I'm happily married, mom to four, homeschooler, traveler, photographer, and never one to turn down a good cup of coffee.
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6 comments:
Love these rules...we may be stealing them when Sam can understand them!
Right now our rules are:
No hitting! : )
what a great example! we will remember these for our future parenting ;)
I love all of this! I gather such wisdom from your blog!
Our main rule is (for the parents) is let your yes be yes and your no be no. Basically if we say it we do it. It's helped me handle this 2 year old, but I love yours once we are starting to teach her the rules!
Thanks for this! This has been on our "to do" list for so long, we need to just get it done! I like how the rules are short and easy for the kids to remember!
Today I'm busy explaining how even if something has no tag, it is NOT OK to just take it from the store. Other rules for this week: "stop throwing litter out the car window", "permanent markers are not for use on bed sheets," and "if the two of you are gonna beat each other up, you're not allowed to come to me with your injuries." I'm such a great mom!
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the baby only eats milk!!!
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