By | 8:00 AM 4 comments
7 months along with Ella - September 2005

9 months along with Ezra - August 2007

I am going to admit that I am going through a stage where I am mildly and oddly envious of pregnant women.

Not because I want to be pregnant.
Not because I want a baby.
Not because I am narcissistic and want attention.

But just because I want others to see that I am expecting too.
I am the equivalent of 9 months pregnant...but you can't tell that just by looking at me.

With the exception of a few weirdo's at the local walmart, I never minded all the conversations my pregnant belly seemed to strike up. In all honesty I kind of liked the questions. After all, I was so excited for this new life...it was natural that I wanted to talk about it.

I, of course, am not referring to the "oh, you must be ready to pop any day now, huh" comments. Or the "my sister-in-law's half cousin's next door neighbor is due when you are and you are SO much bigger than she is" either.

Really, what in the world do people expect you to say back to those kind of comments?

And I should clarify that I don't fault anyone for this discrepancy between expecting through adoption and expecting through pregnancy. After all, unless you really know me you aren't going to know that I am about to welcome a new child into my life.

I don't expect that.

Nevertheless, the feelings persist and I wish for an obvious sign that announces to the world my excitement at welcoming my new son into our lives.
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Jeanne said...

How about a big T-shirt with the Three Dog Night lyrics: Eli's comin', hide your heart girl. I guess that just wouldn't be the same.

trina said...

Oh how I understand. Been there. And what is sad is when family and friends that even know about you "expecting"...still don't get it. They don't seem excited either. BUT when that little one is in your arms, they all melt. They fall in love and believe me, you will get lots and lots of attention then...the good kind and sometimes the bad..but mostly good. Give yourself an least an extra 15 minutes when going out...'cause many will want to know how you got him...so they can have a cutie like him,too. It's all good..fun and such a blessing. :)

Tasha Via said...

Don't get offended when I tell you how cute your little belly is when I see you on Friday, ha!

I'm just kidding.

I can't imagine the overwhelming emotions you must be feeling. It has got to be hard. I think I'd feel the same way you do.

So soon you'll have the proof in your arms to show off:)

I know those feelings well. I have not have bios, but when we were in the process of adopting Sam I longed for someone in the grocery store to stop me and ask me if we were having a boy or girl, how I was feeling, when was he coming home, what is his name...something!!!!
Now that we are home, we can't go ANYWHERE with out someone stopping us and telling us how cute Sam is, and asking a ton of questions! I guess I got what I was longing for!