7 months along with Ella - September 2005
9 months along with Ezra - August 2007
I am going to admit that I am going through a stage where I am mildly and oddly envious of pregnant women.
Not because I want to be pregnant.
Not because I want a baby.
Not because I am narcissistic and want attention.
But just because I want others to see that I am expecting too.
I am the equivalent of 9 months pregnant...but you can't tell that just by looking at me.
With the exception of a few weirdo's at the local walmart, I never minded all the conversations my pregnant belly seemed to strike up. In all honesty I kind of liked the questions. After all, I was so excited for this new life...it was natural that I wanted to talk about it.
I, of course, am not referring to the "oh, you must be ready to pop any day now, huh" comments. Or the "my sister-in-law's half cousin's next door neighbor is due when you are and you are SO much bigger than she is" either.
Really, what in the world do people expect you to say back to those kind of comments?
And I should clarify that I don't fault anyone for this discrepancy between expecting through adoption and expecting through pregnancy. After all, unless you really know me you aren't going to know that I am about to welcome a new child into my life.
I don't expect that.
Nevertheless, the feelings persist and I wish for an obvious sign that announces to the world my excitement at welcoming my new son into our lives.