I thought of the title of Emaye (Amharic for Mother) that I hold for Eli right now - a role I only fulfill on paper. I long for (and am scared to death of) the day when I will be his Momma. In the flesh.
I thought of Eli's birthmom. His first mom. I know next to nothing about her - and what I do know doesn't tell me any of the questions I truly want answered. Yet, I will forever be inexplicably tied to this woman through our son.
I longed for the little girl I only got the privilege to mother for four short months. I was surprised and completely caught off guard with the strength of my sadness for her, felt fresh today.
I thought on my own role as mom to Ella and Ezra. No other role in my life (perhaps, other than wife) has shown me the depths of my capacity for selfishness. The task of mothering little ones is exhausting and draining...and exhilarating and fulfilling...somehow all at the same time. I realize how completely dependent I am on my Father's guidance to do this. How utterly incapable I am of getting this right in my own capacities.
And finally...
I thought of the three incredible moms I have been blessed with. Truly, my cup overflows when I consider the ways these women have loved and poured their best into me. I share so much more than just genetics and family history with these women and I count them as friends.
If you're interested...you can read more about them here. And here.
Happy Mother's Day!
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