Referral Story, part three

Scroll down to read parts one and two first.

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Ezra said "brudder" and Ella was just quiet. I don't think they quite grasped the gravity of the moment.

We left for Virginia shortly after. We spent most of the weekend praying and searching the Word and talking with family. And maybe I spent just a teensy weensy little bit of time searching our agency photo files and finding more pictures of him.

Finally, late on Saturday night Jeremiah and I had been talking (and talking and talking...) and looking at Chala's photo's when he turned to me and said with utmost determination, "lets go get our son." I think that was the moment that things changed for me and I felt a peace. The moment I first felt a true bond towards him.

Fast forward a week to the present: We have his photo up on the fridge. I keep one in my wallet to whip out and show everyone. Ella sleeps with two photos by her bed. We pray for him by name every night. His face has become dear to me. My heart softens towards him more with each day. I feel protective towards him. There is a sense of someone missing as I go throughout my day.

Do I love him yet?

I don't know. I love the idea of him. I love his eyes. His pouty lips. His curly wispy hair. I love the anticipation of getting to know him. Of getting to fall in love with him. Of getting the privilege to be his Mama.

I know that I will love him. I don't have to force it or pretend it. I will love him through the good and the bad the pretty and the ugly the ups and the downs. I have been loved like this by my heavenly Father and am equipped with an abundance of His love to share with this little boy.

Before the referral the whole adoption journey was one of paperwork and ambiguity and following a calling.

Seeing his face made it all suddenly and blissfully real.

Welcome to the family, little boy of mine.

Be ready to be loved.

8 comments:

Cameron and Megan said...

Thanks for sharing your beautiful "call" story. It will be so fun to share with YOUR son one day very soon!

trina said...

Each 'referral call' was very different for us as each child is different. I'm so happy for you all! Can't wait to see his picture. I know some grandparents that will love him so. :)

Tasha Via said...

So sweet Jenn. Thank you for sharing all the details=) He WILL be a very loved little boy...YOUR little boy!

Charity Hildebrand said...

Beautiful posts! Thanks for sharing your referral story, they are always my favorite to read!

the broomes said...

Oh, Jenn- I'm definitely crying right now...your story just hits way too close to home. Thank you for sharing this...honestly. I'm sure that it is an encouragement to Laura as she and Luke walk this same road.

オテモヤン said...
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Kelly Via said...

Very sweet telling of your referral story, Jenn. I have enjoyed reading all three parts! Great honesty.

Becky Swann said...

Just got to read all 3 parts of this! So excited for this calling for your family, I will be praying for you all, especially your new son, Chala!

 

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