I always inspect my children carefully before we leave the house and nothing escapes my watchful eyes. Therefore, it was not my son who wore two completely different shoes to the store. And it wasn't because I was distracted by my daughter who was wearing her ballerina costume over her princess dress topped off with a tutu.
Oh no. Not me. Not my children.
I did not overestimate my abilities while picking up our dog Levi from the groomers along with above mentioned impeccably dressed children. Therefore, I did not give into my children as they pleaded to see the animals at Pet Smart while holding onto leash contained Levi.
So, of course, my impeccably trained dog did not pee on my feet. In the middle of the store. In flip flops.
Oh no. Not my dog.
And I of course did not slip. In the middle of the store. In my flip flops
I always model the correct and responsible reaction to my children. Therefore, I, of course did not high tail it out of there rather than take the time to find a store clerk.
Oh no. Not me.