Ella totally schooled me in memory this week.
So not cool.
I feel old.
I can't get used to her new hair cut.
Every time I look at her I see this big girl (like maybe seven whole years old).
Where did my baby go?
My first tiny baby?
I remember crying on the delivery table right before I had Ezra. Crying because I knew my love would never be singular for her again. It would always be divided with Ezra.
Of course, looking back, I realize how silly that was. But it wasn't silly at the moment.
I cried today as I watched Ezra line up his cars across the living room. His little world as he knows is about to be over. I know that his little world is about to be (ultimately) better...but I still cried. Still mourned. It is part of the process of life. A new chapter is about to begin...and that means one has to end.
Yes, I will probably look back and think, how silly. But it doesn't feel silly at this moment.