It is a collaboration from adoptive parents, psychologists, counselors, and adoption experts put out to be a handbook of real life solutions to common adoption challenges.
Out of all the adoption books I've read this one felt like a breath of fresh air. I didn't feel it sugarcoated any possible issues, but it offered practical solutions backed by scripture and didn't manage to suck all feelings of hope away.
It covered such issues as:
- attachment and bonding
- sibling and extended family relationships
- past abuse
- nurture and discipline
- developing a support network
One thing I have been concerned about is how we might be disciplining Eli in a very different way than we do Ella and Ezra (at least at first)...and how do we explain that to them. The book offered several different dialogue suggestions for talking with Ella and Ezra and the advice that we, "must not deny that there is a difference in how the children are being treated. Don't dismiss the fact that the difference doesn't feel fair. If you deny it, your children will learn not to believe what you say. Always allow for further discussion later." - pg 85.
I loved this advice:
As Christian parents, we have a significant, life-changing resource in the presence of the Holy Spirit. As promised by the Lord Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit brings peace - He is the one who provides a defense against the current stressors of life and the power of past trauma events. As parents, you can learn and invest all that you can for your child to be healthy and whole. But the Lord alone can reach into the depths of your child's heart and psyche where no one else can reach and bring healing. Remember the words of James 1:4 "Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." That verse encapsulates the parenting process: Endure. Trust. Relate. Grow. Enjoy. - pg 30
For what it is worth, I recommend this book for anyone thinking about adopting, or in the process, or who has adopted before.
0 comments:
Post a Comment